In recent years, I send and receive nearly no birthday, Christmas or new year wishes. This is a sharp contrast to ten years ago whereby my phone will be inundated with text greetings during these festive periods. But I am not complaining. On contrary, there is an unspoken peace of mind that comes with the quiet mornings.

Besides, most of these text messages usually comes with a follow up coffee and a "how-are-you-doing-in-life" conversation. But social gatherings bore me these days.

American author and lawyer, Mel Robbins says, "When people come and go in your life, 99% of the time it’s not personal", most of the time, it is attributed to (1) Proximity (2) Timing and (3) Energy. These are the three pillars to social interactions.

Proximity and timing: When you were little, you were probably in the same neighborhood (proximity) and timing of life with everybody. When you hit your twenties and beyond, everybody embarks on different timelines. Some are pursuing jobs, going to graduate school, or getting married. Others are moving out of the city or moving into the city. Everybody's proximity and timing are now different.

Energy: the thing about energy is that it changes. You can have fantastic energy with somebody and then if you decide you're not drinking anymore, the energy's off. If you decide to get focused on fitness, the energy's off. If you have very different political beliefs, the energy's off. It's really not personal.

I have also for many years now, renounced posting on all forms of social media, keeping only my LinkedIn profile intact mainly for a digital identity and writing stuff here. Some folks think I have gotten dark. I think it's just a progressive realization.

Everyone is located in different cities, and in various stages of their lives whereby they prioritize their time differently. Also, nowadays I am increasingly less empathetic to people who add unnecessary drama to their lives, drama in all forms: Those who constantly feel insecure, those who compare their material net worth against others, those who make their circumstances and situation your responsibility to solve. I would agree with everything they say but cut them all off. I am not being dark, just efficient. These are not epiphanies, just moments of clarity.

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